A MOSAIC OF MOODS AND MANNERS A Delicate Dance of Gender Recognition in a World of Uniformity

Struggling through the fog of depression and the rollercoaster of a possible bipolar disorder, I've had my fair share of tough days, and today's chat is a candid take on those challenges. Reflecting on a therapy session that missed the mark, I peel back the layers on how mood swings can unexpectedly disrupt our journey to wellness. The episode takes an intriguing turn as I recount my days as an Army MP, navigating the complexities of gender identities in a world of rigid military conduct and societal norms. We grapple with the delicate balance of using proper titles and the profound respect due to each individual's gender identity, a dance that is as intricate as it is essential.

Woven into our discussion is an examination of the reactions and interactions with transgender individuals, informed by experiences and observations from across the globe, including the Philippines. We spotlight a pivotal moment in the Virginia state legislature, pondering the far-reaching impact of misgendering and the critical pursuit of recognizing gender identities in all public spheres. The episode also features the perspectives of transgender public figures like senator  Danica Roem and commentator Blair White, dissecting the evolution of language and etiquette in our collective effort to uphold personal dignity within a tapestry of changing societal expectations. Join us as we unpack these nuanced topics, seeking empathy and understanding in every fold of the conversation.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:19

Hello, this is the objective, jerk, and I am said jerk, how are my draconians out there? Everybody's doing good. Here I am doing another podcast. I just did one yesterday. Usually it's like every couple days. What I mean by my shit moves is I can go like two weeks without doing one. But I guess this is a sign that my depression bipolar, whatever is going away More and more. I'm finding or I'm seeing these attributes. I guess maybe I don't know I always got like flabbin' stuff when I do these Every time. Okay, I need to start drinking some mentholated gel or something.

Speaker 1: 1:21

Anyway, I spoke to my I'm looking at myself and so I think, spoke to my therapist that I have assigned with the VA the video conference. I knew the appointment was yesterday, I knew it was coming, but the night before I got an appointment tomorrow at three and then I just go about my day and then I was trying to take a nap and then she calls and then I was just an honorary asshole. The whole time she was talking, doing her thing and I really wasn't in the mood for it. The thing she was saying I already knew. I didn't feel like it kind of was what is affecting me the most. You know what I mean. And so I was kind of, you know I was tired and I just was like I don't want to talk to you, basically. But you know, excuse me, we did the hour and I told her. I was like you know, thanks for calling, thanks for everything. You know I'm appearing to be unappreciated, unappreciated. I told her I was like I appreciate her doing her thing and stuff like that. I don't know, usually, you know, I have, I guess, what I would say like a decent appointment or whatever. I'm more engaged and you know. But I was just in a shit mood so I was like I just fell asleep, taken nap, and she called and I was like, oh crap, that's right, that's okay.

Speaker 1: 3:13

Anyway, you know, I was an MP in the Army and one of my many jobs was to do access control, access security. So basically, you know, stand at the gate checking IDs as people came were coming on post. You know, before 9-11, it was a little more lax as far as people could come on post, just civilians. You know, they'd show their driver's license, probably or something. But so I, you know, I joined after 9-11. So it was a little more strict. You had to have a military ID or you had to be with somebody with a military ID to get on.

Speaker 1: 3:57

So, anyway, you know 12 hour shifts sitting at a gate, people coming on, and you know me growing up to address especially an adult or maybe just somebody you don't know, as sir or ma'am, you know. And then in the, in the military, even more so you know, if you don't know their rank and they're not in a military uniform, you dress them as sir or ma'am. If they're an officer, you know sir or ma'am. And multiple times, multiple times, I'd be at the gate and you know an individual would come in wearing like their PT uniform, short hair, kind of masculine, and I would say, oh, okay, hey, thank you, sir, have a great day. And it's a woman, I'm female or I'm like oh, I'm sorry, okay, you know what happened. You know we're trained to say sir or ma'am. You know it's the proper respectful term that you use when you're talking to an individual who is not a friend, somebody you don't know. You don't know them by their name or their, their, maybe their job title or whatever. It's just sir or ma'am, right?

Speaker 1: 5:40

And so now in today's crazy society, we have multiple transgender individuals all throughout society now and you know, I mean, I would say I don't know, I I can't even really remember a time where I saw a transgender individual, where, until it was in the, when I was in the VA, so 2018, 19, 19, and I started seeing more men that were, you know, cross dressing or looking like a woman, but it's completely obvious, it's a man and you know, if you're to address them as ma'am, you had to really like, focus on it, you had to just okay, ma'am, yes, ma'am, you know what I mean. But it's like if you ended up having a long conversation at some point in time, I would address them as sir, because you're doing something and you can hear their voice, hey, but they're a little. Maybe they, you know, they look like a man, just with some long hair and lipstick, you know, and they sound like a man. So you're doing stuff. Oh, yes, sir, yes, sir, um, you know, ma'am, you know, yes, I get that some people deliberately gender whatever, somebody be a dick or whatever, I get that. But you know, a lot of people are trying to be respectful, but you can't just turn off you know 30, 40, 50 years of calling somebody sir or ma'am and then change it because they want to be. Oh, I'm a woman, but it's like you know, it's just you here and Everything's a man. It's just, it's a natural, it's instinct kind of you know what I'm saying. It happens and the thing is is like people get so upset when they get misgendered, but it's these people that really Don't look like. You know, I'll there's.

Speaker 1: 8:15

There are trans individuals that Look straight up, like whatever they identify, as you know what I mean, like I would not know, maybe, unless until they talk or something or something. I Don't think, I don't think I've met anybody and converse with somebody thinking they were female and later learned that was a guy. What I mean I've seen on like TV or you know, on a YouTube or something. But in vice versa, you know, it's a guy like the, the actor that is now a male I can't think of the name she was an ex. He would see, this is the thing. See, it's like I know, start as a female, but I'm gonna address it as she. It's just, it's not. I'm not trying to be a dick, it's just. You know, you can't, just, I don't know it and I guess, okay, well, I'm getting off here. So she now he looks like a male, but I still know the person. Like, if I see the face I'm like, okay, that's that actor, that was a female. If I didn't know that at all and I saw this person, I would. I think I would think you know she was a male.

Speaker 1: 9:24

But in person it's kind of different, though. You know, when you get up close you notice things the shoulders, the broad shoulders, hands are certain things that you kind of notice. You're like, oh, this is this, is this is a trans right here, and I see it here in the Philippines. You know, it's like when somebody is Like just overly Really projecting their the identity that they're identifying with, it makes it kind of those.

Speaker 1: 9:56

So what I'm trying to say is like All girls and women here kind of dress similar, you know, and then all of a sudden you get this really like Over the top Look at me, I'm sexy kind of outfit thing. And you know, at first I'll, you know my guy, so I'll see it. I'm like what that? And I'll look and for a second, yes, very Attractive, but a little over sexual, you know. I mean like it's too much, right. And then when you get a few seconds to look at me, you're like, okay, that's a guy you know, I mean. So that happened to me a lot. Now it's like when I see someone that's like very Dressed up and whatever and just really doing a walk, and just I'm like, okay, that's a guy you know. I Don't know why I'm talking about this, but you know, but okay, so there's a lot, there's a lot of individuals that just Don't Really look like you just have this. Like me. Picture me Also.

Speaker 1: 11:06

I'm trying, well, I don't have any hair, but trying to grow my hair and, you know, put on makeup and act like a female. It's like it's not, it's not gonna work. I mean, there is, there is a wrestler who was, you know, really big facial hair, whatever, and he has, has Become a woman and in all honesty, he doesn't look bad, but you can tell the broad shoulders and certain things. You know what I mean. It's like so, but there there are some that's just it's you can't, you can't, you can't. It's like just living in a fairy tale. It's just some kind of crazy fantasy that they have and it's too much. You know what I mean and I think it's just these individuals, just they do have a mental condition, you know, just like my depression and, I think, bipolar. I'm trying to figure it out. These people have a mental condition and they identify as trans and even though a lot of them are just, it's a dude who has sex with women and whatever, but dresses up as a girl, you know. But then they get mad when we, you know. Oh sorry, sir, whatever you know, it's like you can't, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 12:53

Anyway, the whole point of me talking about this is recently, during a I don't know state legislature kind of meeting there was I think it's Virginia wait, I had it on my phone Virginia has a trans woman who you know was biologic, is a biological man and she is the senator for Virginia. I'm just going to kind of read this article real quick. It's pretty short. So, anyway, a Virginia state senator stormed out of the chamber after being misgendered as sir by the lieutenant excuse me, lieutenant governor, in a confrontation that caused the Virginia legislature to go into recess twice. The Daily Mail reported Tuesday, in the video footage of the exchange, senator Danica Rome, who was transgender and a Democrat.

Speaker 1: 13:50

Or is there a? Is there a Republican transgender? I mean, I guess, is it Blair White? There is a trans man woman who identifies as a woman who is, she's conservative, I think, and you know, on videos and everything she looks like a woman, she's attractive, you know, I'm not going to lie, but that's through video, you know. In person it may be different, but you know, but she's, she's very I can say she because I haven't met her. She sounds like a woman, she looks like a woman. So it makes it easier to gender, to to, you know, say the right gender when they completely look and sound like what they're trying to be. I think a big thing is the sound, the voice. You know when you hear the, you know you just, sir, yes, sir, you know what I mean. You're just it's, it's like automatic, you can't change it. So she's, I think, conservative. She probably wouldn't consider herself conservative. She's, she's a little more level headed and and and understands, kind of. You know, she's realistic about the whole thing.

Speaker 1: 15:11

You know, and, like I said before, I think there are some people that are born gay but I think there are so many more, especially now, that are identifying and want to be a part of the LGBT community, just to be a part of something and because it's cool, it's trendy or they have. You know, they have them problems and they. You know when, when I was a kid, like to rebel against your parents, you would smoke or have, get earrings or something like that. You know what I mean. Now it's like, oh, I want to, I want to be a different sex, I want to identify as whatever this net. You know what I mean. It's just, it's, it's, I don't know Anyway. So let me continue on this article. Gosh, I'm horrible at this.

Speaker 1: 16:06

The Democrat can be heard asking Madam President, so this was, and I watched the video. So it's not like, oh, yes, sir, you know what I mean. She was doing something like exactly kind of thing I've encountered. I'm doing something I can hear ask the question yes, sir, now she doesn't have like a deep voice, but it's not feminine either, you know. So I could see. I don't think this Lieutenant Governor did it on purpose to be, to be a jerk, even though she's, you know, female jerk or whatever. Anyway, madam President, so this is this is the senator. How many votes would it take to pass this bill with the emergency clause? And the governor answered. The governor, when some are old. She were Republican. She replied. So they got you know, put that in there. Yes, sir, that would be 32. But she was like yes, sir, that's 32. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 17:04

At which point Rowan marched out of the room after initially refusing to apologize I, because she didn't. You know, she didn't do it on purpose, it was just you know. But then she later said I am not here to upset anyone. I am here to do the job that the people of Virginia have called me to do, that is, to treat everyone with respect and dignity. I myself have at times not been afforded that same respect and dignity, so she made it clear that in this body, as long as I am president of the Senate, and by the grace of God, I will be treated with respect and dignity and I will treat everyone else with respect and dignity. She re-eher it, reiterated that we are all equal under the law. I apologize, and I would hope everyone understand there is no intent to offend Rome, who is the first transgender senator elected to Virginia. Upper chamber has not commented on it, so this is what I'm talking about, though, or this is what kind of annoys me.

Speaker 1: 18:02

So she's, she's in this thing, and then she gets misgendered. They're, they're, this is, you know, a political. You know they're trying to vote on a bill and whatever. And then she gets misgendered, so she leaves because she was misgendered. That's very childish and very immature, which means the same thing and just stupid. And this is a shit like this that people don't want to. They don't want to conform to their, their gender ideology, kind of crap. You know the misgendering shit. You know? Sure, I don't know. First of all, it's going to take a while, which kind of is like that's probably their point. They, you know, they keep doing this. Eventually people will get it, but it doesn't, you know.

Speaker 1: 19:03

So what is it going to be if they're going to create like a new word for just addressing somebody that you know, yes, that's the whole. They, them. So, so the kids now that are that are hooked on tick tock and smartphones and all this bullshit, instead of addressing yes sir, yes, ma'am, there's going to be like yes them, no, ma'am, or no them. You know what I mean? Like they're making up some new alien language. It's like what the fuck? This is stupid. Um, you know, it's just like being famous. If you want to be famous, there's consequences. You're going to get counted by paparazzi. You're going to. You know, people want to know your, your personal life, and all this kind of crap. If you're going to be trans, you're going to get misgendered. That's just you know. Unless you happen to look like the gender that you identify as like to a T. You know what I mean. It's going to happen and you know it's like what.

Speaker 1: 20:04

If you're in the, in the military, you're a captain. You're a captain. No, let's say, let's say you're I don't know a Sergeant first class. You're. You're at the battalion talk, which they used to call the talk, the tactical operations center. You're man in the radio. You have your you're. You're in a combat zone. You got patrols in Baghdad. Shit starts hitting the fan. You're a Sergeant first class manning that talk radio and you're transgender and you identify as a woman. But you're like uh, make sure you, you know, shit's kind of getting crazy, whatever. And somebody answers uh, yes, sir, sir, it's blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever, this net. And then they're just going to like, not talk on the radio or just forget what's going on.

Speaker 1: 20:54

I was misgender, I'm leaving. Oh, this, you know what I mean. It's like you can't just you can't act like a child because you're misgender. You just can't. You know there, if you're going to be, if you want to hold office as a senator, or you want to be in charge of a company in the army, or you want to be in charge of a civilian multi, whatever company. You can't just stop everything and go cry in the corner because you're misgendered Fuck you. You know what I mean. No, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself, dude. You want to be misgendered or you want to be trans, that's fine. You want people to um, you know, call you by whatever this and that, that's fine. But don't get mad if people don't want to do it or people accidentally do. You know the opposite of what you want or whatever. You know what I mean. It's just a childish and it just shows the mentality of the LGBT, whatever with trans. You know what I mean. It's like it's not all of them. You know I've talked about um. I don't think he's. So. I married. You know my wife, so it's on my wife's side. I don't think they're family. I think they're more like a family friend. They've been friends with this family for so long that they almost consider as family or whatever. But this person is.

Speaker 1: 22:33

When I met I'm going to say him because I've tried it before and it's hard, but when I first met him. He, you know he was a gay guy. He was a gay man, it was, I think it was, was it at the public, the pike place market in Seattle? I think it was the first time I met him, maybe I don't know, but I so, um, met him and he was, you know, he had facial hair, he had long hair and but he was a guy, but he was very feminine and but it, you know, I had no problems with him. And then, you know, he got married.

Speaker 1: 23:15

But I guess, as he was married, he started to kind of identify more as a woman. He started wearing makeup, he started dressing up and, um, I guess his husband didn't like it. You know he wanted, you know, he was obviously gay and wanted to be married to another gay guy, not a gay, you know, trans, or whatever, I guess. I don't know, I don't. Actually I don't. I'm kind of talking out of turn. Is that the term? Um, you know, I don't know for sure. What I do know is they got divorced and I think I heard something like that.

Speaker 1: 23:54

But anyway, so now you know he, he comes to visit and he's actually going to be visiting pretty soon, but he, you know, dresses, you know he wears dresses, wears makeup. For a while he he let his facial hair grow, but I think he shaves it now. But, and you know he looks, he looks like a woman, but I don't know if it's just, because when I met him as a man, you know what I mean. It's just, it's almost like you know somebody wearing a costume for Halloween but never taken it off. You know what I mean, and so it's just.

Speaker 1: 24:41

And this individual he's not, he likes to be, he likes to be called her she. You know what I mean. So if he's out in public and somebody says, oh, yes, ma'am, or this, and that he loves it, he's like cool. If somebody says, sir, whatever, you know, whatever, he doesn't, it doesn't. I'm sure maybe it bothers him a little, but he doesn't make a big deal out of it. You know he understands the situation and he's not going to make a huge deal out of it and that's the way to kind of really go about it. You know the people, you know.

Speaker 1: 25:18

Yes, I want to be identified as this and, I don't know, maybe over time, 100 years from now, everybody's gonna be called they, them or something. I don't know. I'm glad I won't be here to see it, but the whole thing is just, it's just, it's insane. To me, it's just, it's insanity. You know, I don't know, but anyway, that's it. I've been talking for crap 25 minutes. Thanks for hanging out with me. Like, share, subscribe all that stuff, send me an email, comment, whatever. Thanks for listening and I will see you guys next time. Bye, bye.