MENTAL BATTLEGROUNDS AND MORNING ROUTINES Crafting Stability in the Face of Chaos

As a former soldier, the discipline from my army days unexpectedly became my ally in confronting the daily battles of mental health. From the moment the sun peeks above the horizon, my mission is to maintain a routine that steadies the unpredictable waves of mood swings. Today's episode walks you through my morning rituals, the deep comfort I find in the pages of the Bible, and the raw truth about pushing forward when motivation wanes. I'll also share how I navigate the paradox of military life, which can be both a haven and a hazard for mental well-being. And if you're curious, I'll let you in on my latest endeavors: the sparks flying in my blacksmithing side hustle and the modifications I've made to keep mountain biking in my life, despite a troublesome back.

Picture this: a symphony of honks and brake lights as I recount how punctuality—a virtue etched into my being during military service—saves the day in the school drop-off line. These anecdotes are not just about beating traffic; they're lessons learned from years of striving to outmaneuver life's little chaos. As we cruise through these stories, we'll contemplate the dance between driving education and experience. But it's not all serious—buckle up for a joyride down memory lane, complete with tales of near-misses with Corvettes, manual transmission mishaps, and the occasional distraction by the less-than-ordinary things we encounter on our commutes. Through it all, we learn that the road, much like life, is full of opportunities for growth and laughter. Join me for a drive down this winding path of reflection and discovery.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:17

What's going on? This is what is going on. This is the objective, jerk, and I am said jerk, how's everyone doing? Hope, everybody's doing Great. Getting close to summer pretty soon, so things are going to change, definitely going to get really, really hot here.

Speaker 1: 0:44

I find that I do like I need structure. I think that's why I did not like I was like awesome in the army, but for me it worked. You know, I go through periods where I'm in the mood to work out, but then I go through periods where I don't care, and when you're in the army you don't have a choice. So it worked for me. You know, being having to get up and be some, you know it just kind of, whether I wanted to or not, I had to go, and it just kind of kept me. I think the military is good for people with mental issues, depression, things like that. The only thing is, though, you know you go to combat and then something happens. It can make it worse. That's that's the only thing. There's kind of a give and take, I guess, but but it worked for me. So it's like I try and I try and I try and do the same thing.

Speaker 1: 1:57

I'm here in my, my home life being. You know I don't have a job, I just get up like right now, what I would? I go to bed like an o'clock at night. I'm usually in bed by, so I get up early and 530. Get my kids up and ready, I take them to school and then I come home and I try and read the Bible, drink some coffee and then I kind of start my day, which I'm still going to do. I just thought I'd do a podcast real quick, but yeah so, and I always plan out what I'm going to do. I'm always like, ok, I'm going to do this today, but that's usually what. I'm in a good mood, though, but I try and keep it. I keep it going. But when I'm in my shit moods, like my wife's taking the kids to school a little more often, I mean, if I get good sleep I'll do it, but I don't know, it's just, it's, it's the, it's the shit moves.

Speaker 1: 3:02

That's the problem, trying to keep myself going. And for the most part, you know, I don't like, I don't think I have like a typical Depression, like you know, people like don't shave Well, obviously I don't shave, but you know they don't shower, they don't do whatever. I'm kind of like that Usually I'll shower, I'll get up and like, ok, I'll shower to try and make myself. It doesn't really work. Yeah, I don't know, it's like.

Speaker 1: 3:31

Sometimes it's like I have my depression, but I also have my. I don't know, I don't know what I got. I don't know what I got. I don't know what I got. I don't know what I got exactly. But it's like sometimes when I try and push myself, I get irritable. So it's like you know, they say, ok, if you're depressed, you should. You know, you got to get up, you got to take a shower, you got to go do something, get something done, you got to go somewhere. But when I do that, I'm irritable, I'm angry, I'm not pleasant to be around at all. You know what I mean. So it's why it's better for me to just stay at home.

Speaker 1: 4:08

So I don't know, I'm still. I guess that's the important thing is to just Not give up, keep trying to find what works. You know what I mean and I'm trying to work on a Little side hustle. I don't want to say too much yet because I'm still the early stages, but Something it's, it's more just to give me something to do. I mean if it, you know, brings in Some extra money or something. I mean, as long as it pays for itself. That's that's what I'm, you know, I'd be happy with, and maybe this podcast is right now. I have money that go towards this podcast, I pay and and the podcast doesn't pay for itself. It's like I need something that can maybe give me a little return. But yeah, so I don't know, once I'm going with that, I'll probably talk about it more later. But but it is something I don't know.

Speaker 1: 5:16

I've been always. I've been, you know, I'm always trying to find something to kind of keep my interest, even when I'm in my shit moods. That's, that's what I'm. That seems to be my, my goal, usually, like all when I'm in my, my good moods, my highs of my Bipolarism or whatever, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna do this. I'm like I've been wanting to do Blacksmithing, you know, metal working, like make some knives and stuff, forever, and I still do want to. But getting an anvil here is Kind of tough and they're expensive here too, man, to find a good anvil. And I know you can do other, you can make other things to work and stuff like that. But I Just kind of think you need the anvil. I'm just kind of keeping my eyes open. I still want to. I have this idea to make some knives.

Speaker 1: 6:15

But it's like you know, I have all these little little things that I either do or want to do, little hobbies, and you know, like I, I Used to really be in the mountain biking and when I first got here I that's all I did. But then it's like I Don't know, that's like kind of have back Problems. So sometimes my back would be killing me. I couldn't ride very long in my back would just. So it's kind of. I mean, you know, I just probably have to stretch. I was my medication plus, you know, I Mean, I'm, I'm overweight than what I should be, but with my medication it was even worse. I don't know.

Speaker 1: 6:59

The point is, I think it's just important to just keep looking for something, even though you feel like it's never. You're never finding it. I think Maybe that's what you gotta do just keep trying and stuff, and I think I found what will work. I think I found what I've been looking for, but time will tell, but I think it's. I finally figured it out, which was like it's kind of obvious now that you think about it and look at it but anyway. But yeah. So I gotta Been working on that a little bit and I gotta work on Stuff for that a little today, or I want to, but I gotta get some stuff done around the house.

Speaker 1: 7:42

But anyway, the main reason I wanted to do a podcast was Again, I know maybe I'm beating the record player and it's, but the traffic, the driving here. I just wanted to like another, another aspect of it. Or maybe I Think a lot of times I talk about it I'm just like frustrated and angry, but now I feel like I can maybe Explain it better. Maybe I don't know, but If you guys are tired of me, the traffic and everything here, send me a comment or email and be like dude, we get it. The traffic sucks or the driving sucks, and it's not even traffic. It's not the traffic I mean kind of, but it's just the way they drive. And for those that have listened to other podcasts know what I'm talking about. But again, it's just.

Speaker 1: 8:36

You know I, I Get my kids up a little earlier and leave a little earlier and drop them off at school a little earlier. Then others because I'm avoiding the traffic which is kind of jacked up I guess, but they're at school. I Think it's good to be there early and not, you know, late, and Because there are times where we've, for me on my schedule, woke up late and I'm thinking, oh man, they're gonna be late and it's like then, you see, that's when everybody's going there, so it's my, the normal time they get there is as early, but I think it's it's good for them to build that, that Um, you be there early mentality, which I didn't have when I was younger. You know, I always got to work Right, at the right time, or even a little late. I Mean, my job wasn't a huge deal if I was a little late, but you know, they were like, yeah, dude, need to be on time, just because should.

Speaker 1: 9:33

Now, you know, and I think it was the army that really kind of instilled the being early, because I've talked about, you know, early on time, you're on time, you're late, and if you're late you're wrong, and so I just, you know, I took that to heart when I was an army, so I always made sure that Was early, because that way it seemed like especially when I was, you know, as a private, and everything's like you get there and then you'd remember something or you, oh crap. So I want to get there early enough to where I, if I had to go back to the barracks or something, I could Um things like that. And then sometimes, when you were there early, you would get tasked to do something else, so like if you had to go to the motor pool. Anyway, that doesn't know the motor pools where they keep all the vehicles and equipment and not equipment, but some equipment, a lot of equipment. Oh yeah, the equipment, the conixes are there, but I'm sure it's different everywhere. But at least when I was in this house I'm sure it's pretty similar. But today, um, but you know, if you got there early, sometimes you would get designated to do something else, a different task that A lot of times was much more enjoyable than conics, unloading and reloading. Or you know, like you'd go to the motor pool when there was nothing to do at the motor pool and they would find something for you to do. Okay, I saw one of my posts of the thing where it shows a soldier like posing off, like a sidewalk in the rain, just it, just, you know that's, that's the army for you question when there's nothing to do. Um, but like I said, if you get there early, you know you'd get, you'd get the hey you For something that was less brutal than being at the motor pool. You know, that was one thing I found too. So, anyway, oh, that's the head. Okay, I'm thinking out and my mic was unplugged again. So, yeah, being on time, so the traffic, so I, you know, and then again, today we left a little bit later because I woke up. Usually I woke up at 530, woke up at 6, get the kids ready and still, like usually we'd leave like about 650 and then they're getting dropped off, you know, around 7. We were leaving like a little after 7, which they're still, they're still fine, but at that time traffic is just crazy, and I've talked about it before, but it's just like it really.

Speaker 1: 12:10

It really helps you understand why you have speed limits and traffic lights and various things, you know, and driver's ed, for that matter. You know, everybody here, most of the people here, have never been properly trained in driving. You know, they just get on a moped and the farms figured out, and then the way they, and then the way they ride their mopeds, they drive their cars, which it does not work, and you have so many people, like yesterday we went to the mall and you just get people that drive so slow and empty traffic and it's like when there's a shoulder, it's like, get over. How hard is it to like, oh crap, I'm looking, I'm going slow, there's all these cars behind me. Maybe I should get over and let them go, especially if you're going I don't know it's kilometers, so I'm not sure what it is a miles per hour, but you know the highway here. You should be going 60 at least that should be the speed limit, 60 kilometers an hour.

Speaker 1: 13:13

But you have people that are doing like 30, like just creeping. It's like, why are you even driving? You could walk, you know, and it's like it, just, it just. It's insane to me, but they are trying to push more drivers and stuff like that. So I think that's a good thing, but it's not. It's not difficult to just pay somebody to let you pass your drivers. You know what I mean. If you got the money, you can just be like, hey, here, here's some money, I fail, so you can just give it to me. You know what I mean. So it's just that's kind of how it is.

Speaker 1: 13:53

You either have the slowest people or you got people that just have no patience and, no, there's no consideration for other people. But you know, it's like and that's kind of the thing is like everybody here drives like their first year driving, you know what I mean. Is this like okay, someone driving, someone who's educated? It's good to be educated, but experience goes a lot further than education. Both of them together are what you want, right, but you can get by with just experience over education. But you got habits too that are a problem. So, even though you have people that have been riding forever here, you got the habits that they build and they just continue those. Plus, it's just the culture. They just do things different.

Speaker 1: 15:20

Here they pull out. Okay, you know how in Driver's Ed they teach you. Okay, if you're going to turn, you're going to pull out. Whatever, first thing you do is turn on the blinker. Let's everybody know what your intentions are right. Then you look If the coast is clear, then you turn the wheel and give it gas and pull out. Right here they give it gas, pull out a little bit, and then they look and then maybe they'll turn on their blinker. And then you know what I mean. Like it's just asked backwards and I'm starting to learn, you know, because I used to like I'd be driving and then somebody, like that's the thing they do is they'll kind of pull out to try and get you to like, oh crap, they're going to pull out. So you stop and they're like, oh, thanks for letting me out. I was like I'm not letting you out. Dickhead, you made me think you were pulling out, you know, but I don't know. Hopefully over time it gets better and better. I don't know. It's insane. Like they have one light.

Speaker 1: 16:25

There's only one traffic light in the Locust Norte that I've ever seen and it's in our town, our city. There's a four-way stop in our city. I mean, there's a couple four-way intersections somewhere, but nobody. You know like there's an actual intersection that's a four-way. There's stop signs on all four lanes of traffic but nobody stops. They just, oh, this is the main road, so we just go. And then you know, like it's just, they just drive however they want. And then if you have a new car, you know that's showing like, oh look, I got money because I bought a new car, or they have a family member that pays for their payments or whatever I don't know, but they think that they can just drive however they want, like they're the biggest assholes Big, fancy vehicles. I just want to run into them and destroy them. And then tricycle drivers, man, drive me nuts.

Speaker 1: 17:19

But like I said, it's you know, even though I had a semester. Was it a semester or was it a quarter? No, it's got to be a semester, right? No, no, no, I'm trying to remember how high school was. So you had two semesters, but you had two quarters in each semester and you had four quarters. Yeah, so it was a quarter thing for certain classes.

Speaker 1: 17:42

I just want to say I can't. Did I take driver's ed for half a year? Doesn't seem right. This seems like too much. I don't know, but it was the only class that I really paid attention to and I got like straight A's. I got, you know, 100%, whatever I turned everything in, I did everything. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 18:04

Like it was, I wanted to get my driver's license and you know I wanted to be a good driver, you know. But even though I was educated, you have to the experience, because the experiences you got to drive, I mean, if I'm the only one on the road, yeah, with education I can drive perfect and not have problems, and I can still. You know what I mean. But then you got everybody else on the road right. So there's a couple of times I remember, when I was younger, when I first got my license, that you know I was a shitty driver too, because I was, you know, I was new, everybody's, you know, and that's what they say the best way to get good at driving is the drive, the experience. You know.

Speaker 1: 18:49

I remember my first day driving to school I was so nervous. I was so nervous to make a turn off a highway road because there was no light. So I was in the turning lane, I had to wait for the gap and I was so nervous because I had a truck that was like a clutch. So I mean, I knew how to drive and I could, but I wasn't, you know, super, you know still learning the clutch to do it fast and in the gas and everything you know. So I was, I was nervous, I remember.

Speaker 1: 19:14

But and then I remember one time pulling out of where I lived onto a highway and that was like 15, 55 miles per hour. It was a speed limit at one time and I had my first car was a little 85 Dodge Ram 50. So it was a little pickup truck. It was like a four cylinder, four gear. And so I'm there and I look and I can see a car way down, you know whatever. So I pull out and this car was like a red Corvette convertible.

Speaker 1: 19:48

This guy was hauling ass, but I couldn't tell. So I mean it's a little bit of his fault. I mean it's mostly the guy's fault really, but then it's just my you know inexperience or whatever, I guess I don't know, but anyway. So I just remember I pulled out into the lane and then I look in the rear view mirror and he's like coming up fast, and I was like, oh shit, I just pull out in front of this guy. So I went to get out of his way because I'm a consider a driver, but he is plant and he's. His plan was to just, you know, bypass me, just go around. So we both moved over, we merged to the left lane at the same time, but he's hauling ass. But then he had a slam on the brakes and then he ended up spinning out. And I remember, I remember looking in the rear view mirror as I'm driving and I see his car like spinning out and he's in a convertible, he just sticks his hand up in the air, flipping me off as he's spinning in circles, and I was so scared.

Speaker 1: 20:43

I remember that my, my grandfather I don't know if that's where I was going, but that's where I went because of this. No, I think that's where I was going anyway. No, I don't know, I can't remember, but anyway, but my grandfather lived down the road a little ways and so, and he lived in like a like an old retirement kind of trailer park no wait, was that one the retirement one? Anyway, he lived in like a trailer park. He lived in one that was just for, like you know, 55 and over, or something like that at one time. But so I drove as fast as my little four cylinder truck could take me and I'm looking at the behind. You know I'm thinking this guy's going to come after me. And you know I drive in there and I pull into his thing and I just, I remember I just parked and I'm waiting to think of this guy's going to come after me or some shit. But yeah, so there was, there was that. But then I was, I was pretty good for a while. And then you know, actually, what are these? I don't know. So it's not the first year is the worst. But I think they say after five years you're pretty good, you know. But I remember one time so this was probably, I don't know, two years, maybe three, after I got my license.

Speaker 1: 22:02

I've been driving for three years, maybe over three, and I was driving to work. I got off the exit ramp off the interstate, you know, and got to the light, you know, to merge on or merge on whatever highway it was, and the light was red, you know they got to stop. You can turn on red, but you got to stop right. So we stopped and I wasn't looking at traffic, I was just kind of, you know, watching the guy in front of me. So then he starts to go, so then I in turn start looking, and then I'm about to go and also bam, I rear end the guy. So this person, probably he was doing something else and he wasn't paying attention, not that it, you know, still my fault because I rear ended him but so he was doing something. I don't know what this guy was doing, but so he started to go forward but he stopped, and so him going forward, I took it as he was taking off. So then, you know, I go look at it and then I rear end of the guy. So I think those were the two.

Speaker 1: 23:16

I've been in a couple little things, but those were the two that were. Well, I don't know about the first one, but that one was definitely my fault. And then one time I was backing up but I had kind of a large truck and I didn't see the car. I'm already at my time limit, but I'll share the story real quick. Was with my friend. He was driving in his little Honda Civic car.

Speaker 1: 23:45

We were on the interstate, it was bumper the bumper I5 Washington, and it's just like creeping and creeping and creeping. And so we're going and we see, not in the lane next to us but the one over from there, we see like an attractive girl riding in a car, and so we're kind of, you know he's creeping along, I don't know, we're doing like 25 or something maybe, and we're kind of checking her out, you know, and he's driving, he's looking. I remember I had like a CD case so I was kind of looking for a CD to play, you know, and look into and whatever, this and that. And then so then a semi truck comes in between us, but so you know, we're in a Honda Civic. It's pretty low so we're able to still kind of see. So we both kind of like put our head down so we could still look at her underneath the trailer and then bam, he rear ends his truck. And it was funny because I remember the guy you could see and he just kind of he you know, he's a big truck and he just kind of looks in the rear of your mirror and he sees what rear ended him and he's just like you know, carry knows, if anything's fucked up it's our car and it was. It was. He was right, you know. And the exact same thing happened to me once when I had a truck and someone rear ended me, although I wasn't as cool as him. We got out and looked and the car just hit my trailer hitch, didn't do nothing, but then it put a hole in that person's car. So but anyway, that's it.

Speaker 1: 25:11

Yeah, I can't believe I've been talking. I went by quick. Anyway, yeah, that's it. I just wanted to share some stories, I guess. Thanks for listening, thanks for hanging out. Let me know you can email me or make a comment or whatever. However, you listen to this or watch it. But again, thanks for listening and I'll see you guys next time Bye, bye.